While doing laundry, I noticed 6 "Sagefire" T-shirts came out of a single load of laundry.
When I saw this, I laughed at the absurdity of my “Sagefire Uniform.”
I thought, “I don’t know what I’d wear without these!”
Then, like a pebble rolling down a mountain, my brain jumped to “Who am I without Sagefire?”
With the recent partitioning out of my own projects from the Sagefire name, I was so excited about all the fun, new things—new website! New social media platforms! New programs and coaching ideas!
But I avoided the big scary question… “If I’m not Sagefire, who am I?”
>insert scary movie sound effect and resulting panic<
I’m not the first to struggle with having an identity meltdown; I see it on a regular basis with clients.
“My kids are out of the house, who am I without them?”
“I lost my big corporate job, who am I now?”
“I left my marriage, who am I without them?”
Click for the million dollar question ->
WHo Am I?
This sacred question can feel like the foundation of our very existence. Not having a clear answer can leave us anxious, confused, and ungrounded.
When this question is ping-ponging around our mind, it can take up all of our mental bandwidth, leaving no space for things like joy, creativity, or future planning.
Sometimes, to avoid the awful sensation of the unknown we quickly grab onto something else. A new job. A new partner. Another kid? Why not!?
But sometimes in the blind grab for anything safe and settled, we pick up the wrong something. Or sometimes we never let go of the old identity and grow to a new one.
When I look back on all the times I yearned to branch off and explore other sides of the business, the one thing that consistently stopped me was this question:
“But, who will I be?”
It’s also the gateway question to other big, scary ones:
Would I be good enough?
Would I make it?
What if I fail?
The weight of these questions paralyzed me, so I stayed in the safety of the known.
What finally got me over the hump this time?
Remembering that my identity is more than a title.
Cookie cutter labels are precarious and can be taken away at any time.
My identity is more than the duties I perform. I am more than a wife, auntie, mother, or business owner.
I am a sacred being. I am love. I am joy. I am curiosity. I am complex contradictions. I am an artist. I am nature.
For me, remembering this has been a security blanket in dark.
Do you need one of those?
Try this 5-minute journaling exercise:
List 10 components of your identity that have nothing to do with a role or job title.
Use these as mantras if you find yourself circling the drain of an identity meltdown.
It might provide the confidence you need to leap with faith into the unknown, or provide the safety you need to stay long enough in the unknown for you to find the next right step.
If you need even more support, be sure to join my Facebook Group. We're going through the archetypes and helping all of us to "Reclaim Our Crown"!