Over the weekend, I fell into a common Shadow Maiden trap: Compare & Despair.
It happened when I ran into an old friend and suddenly found myself noticing how perfect she is—gorgeous, kind, genius, and funny, with legs for days and a high-profile job. She has all the things.
But in this Compare & Despair trap, the Shadow Maiden is telling us we’re "less than," "not enough," and "not worthy.”
When we're operating out of this shadow, it also causes our Queen archetype to shrink. In this place of contraction, we end up hiding our gifts because they’re not the same as someone else’s.
Stuck in this place of gift shaming, we’re not taking action steps toward the vision for our life and definitely not making the world any better.
And in case you need reminding—the world needs all of us to celebrate the gifts we have and use them for the benefit of all.
So while I was sulking in my shadow, I walked over to my garden to the freshly opened peonies, stuck my nose deep in the petals and sniffed.
I don’t think I’d ever smelled them before. Have you?
Then it hit me.
Do these beautiful flowers stop being their most vibrant because they don’t smell like a lilac?
Do I appreciate their beauty any less because they’re not “perfect” in every way?
No forking way!!
But that’s what we do to ourselves sometimes, isn’t it?
When you look around and see what others have that you don’t, we devalue our own unique magic.
So please my darling, YOU go on being YOU.
Enjoy the juicy moments of YOUR life.
Celebrate the attributes you do have and honor what others have.
Because it means they’re helping the world in a way you can’t.
And vice versa.
So if you fall into a Maiden shadow trap, I want you to:
Put your hand on your heart.
Repeat this mantra, “I am enough. I am lovable.”
If you need to, add, “‘Cause Lynn said so.”
Then text me and confirm it.
If you’d like to delve deeper into understanding your Queen, join the 5 Day Reclaim Your Crown Challenge.