 Happy Day To You,
As I stood in the garden this morning offering gratitude for the day, I received a message from the trees and wanted to share.The trees shifting from green to bright orange and flame red, is a reminder that aging is not about the hard work of forcing change so we can be a beacon for others… It’s about letting go of the physical work, and in that release, our true nature is revealed- festive colors that bring joy, inspiration, and delight to all. On this Autumnal Equinox, please remember that the trees are not dying.  Have you ever wanted someone to give you a gold star for a job well done, like your elementary school teachers did?
“Little Sally, great job on your homework, gold star for you!” Well, I have a super special surprise for you… YOU can! As much as I’d LOVE to show up at your door to give you that accolade, alas, I am not Santa with the magical powers to go around the world in a night. So no, it’s not me, but I know some who can do that for you.  Did you know that boundaries come in a variety of styles?
Some are super obvious, like, “Don’t touch me without permission.” Others are a little trickier and dance on cultural norms, like, “Please honor me by arriving on time for lunch.” But there are also sneaky boundaries that are hard to put into words, in part because we don’t think of them as boundaries. Click to read a brief story, and see if you can spot the boundary break…  While doing laundry, I noticed 6 "Sagefire" T-shirts came out of a single load of laundry.
When I saw this, I laughed at the absurdity of my “Sagefire Uniform.” I thought, “I don’t know what I’d wear without these!” Then, like a pebble rolling down a mountain, my brain jumped to “Who am I without Sagefire?” With the recent partitioning out of my own projects from the Sagefire name, I was so excited about all the fun, new things—new website! New social media platforms! New programs and coaching ideas! But I avoided the big scary question… “If I’m not Sagefire, who am I?” >insert scary movie sound effect and resulting panic< I’m not the first to struggle with having an identity meltdown; I see it on a regular basis with clients. “My kids are out of the house, who am I without them?” “I lost my big corporate job, who am I now?” “I left my marriage, who am I without them?” Click for the million dollar question ->  Over the weekend, I fell into a common Shadow Maiden trap: Compare & Despair.
It happened when I ran into an old friend and suddenly found myself noticing how perfect she is—gorgeous, kind, genius, and funny, with legs for days and a high-profile job. She has all the things. But in this Compare & Despair trap, the Shadow Maiden is telling us we’re "less than," "not enough," and "not worthy.” NOT TRUE! Click to hear why that's bull-sh*t ->  Are you experiencing emotional stress—ranging from feeling unsettled to full blown depression—because of climate change?
Sweetheart, I get it. I’ve been there! The new reports coming out paint a dire picture and it can be overwhelming. When these facts come up against your Queen archetype, bad things can happen. Why? Because one attribute of a Queen in gold is the desire to protect her kingdom and leave it beautiful, safe, and thriving for those who will inherit it. Your Gold Queen is trying so hard to do that, but other people keep mucking it up! In the end, the inner turmoil gets to be so much that you may end up an ugly, crying mess on the floor or hulking out at everyone in a MAGA hat. This is not helpful. (Sorry, but it had to be said.) I’ve got some helpful tips… Click for action steps ->  In a session the other day, a client recognized a pattern that felt crappy—she realized she felt compelled to justify her needs and wants. A simple decision on whether or not to go to sleep early turned into an internal monologue that went something like this: “I need to go to bed early because tomorrow is a really big day and I’m already getting home later than usual. And I’m getting over a cold… Then I have this and that to do.” These thoughts can go on and on. Let’s be real, the to-do lists never end.
Like ever. Click to read why -> |
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